Urinary incontinence is no laughing matter. Unless, of course, someone writes a good joke about it
Urinary incontinence is no laughing matter. Unless, of course, someone writes a good joke about it
Devil: C’mon just trust me, I don’t exist
World: ok
They laughed when I bought a St. Joseph figurine to help sell my house, but they’re not laughing now that I bought 38 more and play with my army of St. Josephs all night.
Wife: um, where’s the baby?
Me, patting my pockets: oh shit, I left it at home
Don’t judge a book by its cover, but by its ability to inspire one to commit murder.
“Gravity’s Rainbow” by Pynchon is the most sophisticated writing I’ve ever come across, followed closely by the advertisement “guy saying wassup”
David: And I can’t stress this enough, do not show this to anyone.
Michaelangelo: ok
Select title: Mr. Mrs. Ms.
“ugh, they never have ‘ra ra’” - rasputin
Hanlon’s razor: Never attribute to malice what could be attributed to incompetence.
Gillette’s razor: Five blades for the closest shave imaginable.